Wait till they invite you or have invite them with other more reliable people. They can tag along if they want but don’t make them the main reason of going out. I mean they clearly don’t care enough bout you to keep plans so make plans that you really don’t care if they show up. I completely empathize with you. Ooh, not a date but I actually ghosted a friend once because they kept canceling on me last minute and I was generally sick of them controlling every hang out since I always had to revolve around their schedule, and they were generally very micromanage-y. I'm definitely not proud of this story, but in hindsight that screams anxious protest What is the reason you cancel plans last minute? Anxiety about socializing? Fear of embarrassment? Etc. figure out the main reason. Chronically late… if you have to be somewhere at 5, write down that it’s actually 4:30. And then stick to it. You’ll likely end up being early or at least on time. roughly 1/2 of mine cancel less than 24 hours ahead of time. usually they're sick. sometimes they get stuck at work. sometimes their grandma had a stroke. basically i just assume that the date isn't going to happen, until we are standing in front of each other. That's a smart way to think about it. Tinder women will find a way to flake. I enthusiastically said yes and then texted my girlfriend to let her know I needed to reschedule because of family stuff. She asked if everyone was okay. I said yes and explained the situation. She said she was a little hurt I would cancel preexisting plans for a last minute hangout with my brother. I reminded her I don't get to see my brother Normally I would say to write her off. You can just say something polite but rather shaming, "I would have loved to spend time with you because you seem like such a great person (or other non-looks-related compliment). I wish you the best. Unfortunately, last-minute cancellations are a bit of a pet peeve for me, so we wouldn't have worked. It’s a silly rule. I mostly agree that a date should be set up at least a day in advance. But it’s not a hard rule for me. I do think it’s important that you keep yourself occupied doing what you want and not being readily available to guys you are dating. That is a potential pitfall if you are too available. Maybe something came up and he realized he couldn’t do it and it would be unfair to you. You just never really know what others are going through. In order to grow as people we have to push ourselves. Sometimes we push too far and have to take a step back before trying again. You got up caught in that, and I’m sorry. .

how to cancel plans last minute reddit